This morning while doing my homework for my bible study, I was reading the story of Jonathan, son of King Saul (1 Samuel 14). There are several dynamics about this story that make it interesting. Beth Moore (the author of this study) made a comment that seemed to jump off the page. "He (Jonathan) knew God could do it, he didn't know if He would. Whether or not He did, Jonathan understood God's response to be based on sovereignty, not weakness." These two sentences say exactly what I stumble around and try to say when asked about my battle with cancer.
I know that God can heal me and wipe this cancer out of my body if He chooses, but if that is not part of His sovereign plan, then I will be healed when taken to heaven. God has a perfect plan for me and I will not doubt his sovereignty. I will either be healed of cancer and delay my entry into heaven or I will not be healed and my ascent to heaven will come sooner. I am a winner either way! Perhaps God is using this struggle in my life to encourage others or show someone the saving grace of Jesus Christ. If my life could be a witness to someone and lead them to Christ then the cancer did not win - the winner would be the Kingdom!
I believe the most important job of a parent is to witness to their children about Jesus. While we want our sons and daughters to be healthy, wealthy and wise on earth the more important goal is for them to love God with all their heart and soul. I also believe the most important job as a Christian is to lead the lost to Christ. If my journey through this cancer mine field results in the salvation of souls, then I consider it an honor to serve God in this way.
Whew, pretty heavy post tonight. I just have to say whats on my heart.
I have received several encouraging notes, emails and comments today. I am overwhelmingly blessed by your words. Thank you for being such a meaningful part of my life.
I must confess I haven't done so well with scripture memory. As soon as I log off tonight I am going to read over it several times. Hopefully I will be able to think about it before I go to sleep. If you have committed to memorize scripture this year, please let me know what verse you are working on. I would love to know who else is with me on this.
Good night beautiful friends,