I find myself with 10 minutes to spend before going to the wedding of a daughter of friends. Do I spend this time doing something productive like load the dishwasher, sort the junk mail or put away laundry. Not a chance. Again I find myself wasting time, letting my mind wander. I find myself doing a lot of that lately. It's a little over a month until my next petscan. This time the wait has been very unnerving. The last scans showed two spots on my lungs. The chance of my cancer moving to my lungs is high and we know that. I've asked to know every detail. I've asked that the truth not be sugar coated. So I've known the good news and bad news through this whole ordeal. I've had more bad news delivered than good. I'm hoping it is time for the tide to turn and I start getting a flood of good news. But, still I cannot complain. My fight with my cancer foe has revealed many things to me. Things that I may not have learned had I not gone through this fight. I took relationships for granted that have become invaluable to me. I finally saw some relationships for just what they are - a waste of time, energy and love - and set myself free from them. My walk with God is so much closer than it was. It really makes a difference when you go from going through the motions - knowing the right words to say and then suddenly clinging to your Lord and Savior for every breath and every thought.
Again, I have spent 10 minutes - but I don't believe they are wasted. Each time my thoughts turn to my Lord, it is time well spent.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I walked the Rumpshaker 5K today! A walk for colon cancer awareness. It was a really big deal to finish it. I feel like the accomplishment may have been lost on some folks. As I walked side by side with Allie I had a few thoughts of last year's 5k. Last year I was two months into chemo and very weak. Just walking from the car to the gathering area made my legs shake. I sat for most of the event and when we got home I hit the couch and was sick for 2 days. This year I completed the walk with Allie by my side. We walked it in just under one hour. I'm tired and on the couch again, but relaxed not sick.