Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My Life as an Etch-a-Sketch

I am thankful for God's grace.

I alone can do nothing, be nothing.

Grace- the undeserved gift I receive daily.  By confessing and repenting of my sins, God pours on another helping of grace.

My daily walk is like an Etch-a-Sketch.  I start out making deliberate, thoughtful moves, thinking only how I want to please God.  Then something goes wrong, maybe hurt feelings, maybe laziness or selfishness and soon my Etch-a-Sketch is marked with lines I hadn't planned to make.  Scribble-scrabble lines that I know are not the marks of the plan God has for me.  Deeply ashamed of the mess I have made (again) I reluctantly hand my mess over to God.  I'm such an awful sinner and just can't see how God could still have patience with me.  I await words that convey His disappointment in me.  But God gently turns my Etch-a-Sketch over in His hands and says, "Here my child, try again."

Thank you God for your never ending grace and mercy.  I ask that you direct each step I take, capture my thoughts and let them be pleasing to you.  Use any talent I may have to share your love with a hurting world.  Keep my thoughts off me and on you.  Your grace is truly amazing!  I am in awe of your patience with me.


Monday, October 22, 2012

The Results Are In

I got the results from my PET scan today.  I have thought about these results all day, processing them, running them through my mind, but most importantly my heart.  In my mind the information is broken down into facts, number of tumors, size of tumors, etc.  My mind understands that at least one tumor has grown and that they may have increased in number.  On the positive side my mind also understands that the drug combo is still working.  We will continue on this plan for a while longer.  There is no need to switch to another plan just yet.

My heart processes things in a different way.  All this information goes through my "faith filter".  How does this information change my love for God?  How does this change God's love for me?  It doesn't!!  My God is still God and He is still on the throne!  It doesn't change any of the promises He has for me.

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.  He cares for those who trust in Him.
Nahum 1:7

So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right had.  Isaiah 41:10

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.  Proverbs 18:10

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him.  Psalm 62:1

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  Psalm 91:4

I could do this all day!

So...to wrap it up all neat:

Did the doctor have good news...not really.

Did God have good news...oh yeah, baby!

And I know which one has my attention!



Sunday, October 21, 2012

A Proverbial Thought

"Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3: 7-8

Wow!  If I wholeheartedly loved God and sought to please Him daily and shunned, refused, rebuked anything that was not pleasing to God, my life, my health (spiritual, physical, mental) would be so much different than it is now.  I can't turn back the hands of time and right all the wrongs of my past, but GLORY, my God is a God of second chances!  If I start today, at this minute and seek God in all things, yearn to please Him at all things and praise Him in all things my life would change dramatically.  I may not add any days to my life, but oh my, I would add life to my days!

Garbage In = Garbage Out

If I deliberately, intentionally avoid all evil I can only imagine how radically different life would be.  Not just avoiding the big no-no's of sin, but everything that is from the evil one.  TV shows and music that glorifies sin or at least makes you think that "everybody is doing it".  Any of the things that take the focus off God.

If I could focus on the 2 tiered instruction of Proverbs 3: 7-8, my life would be so much fuller, so much deeper, so much...livelier!  To take it a step further how radically different would the lives be of people around me?  Uh oh, I think I just stepped on my own toes with that one!  If 100% of my focus is on loving God and shunning evil I could have an impact for Christ on every single person that crossed my path!

What if one person in a family committed to living this proverb?  What if one person in your office committed?  What if one person in your Sunday school class committed to live Proverbs 3:7-8?  I believe the outcome would be amazing!  Dare I say it would have more impact than the outcome of a football game....or an election??

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Here I am again.  Another sleepless night because of steriods I have to take with my chemo.  It just doesn't seem very fair.  They give you drugs that are going to make you feel yucky and then another drug to make sure you stay awake and enjoy every minute of it.

I'm not complaining, I'm just joking around a bit.  I want to have a fun time with this post, which could be a little scary.  I have just taken seven drugs that either have the potential or the promise to make you go to sleep.  Well, they don't make me sleep but you can bet your sweet bippie it dulls the senses.

A few weeks back I had a vision for the coffee table in my sitting room.  This room is called the sitting room because this is where I sit.  Anyway, I needed a little husband help on this project.  I needed odd shaped wooden blocks and with my mishaps with glue guns, nobody wants me around an electrical saw!

It is about this time that I had the great idea to take pictures of this project like the crafty blogger people do.  So lets give it a wing-ding:

Here are the odd shaped blocks my hubs lovingly sawed for me, the stencil letters that I made, and a wonderful assortment of scrapbook paper.  The Modge Podge is mysteriously missing from this shot.

OK, before you look at this next shot I want you to know that I am an excellent speller.  I don't get that math where they mix numbers and letters, but I can spell when you get those numbers out of my business.  So.....if you were going to make a tablescape with the word THANKFUL, which of the letters below would you not use?  Go ahead.

Why on God's green earth did I make a "C"?  And why did it have to be front and center in my picture?

Here is the project as it stands now.  I may add something or move it around but that is it for today.  I made the flower arrangement and the block letters.  The two foam pumpkins are from Walmart.  And the sweet chicks front and center were my grandmother's salt and pepper shakers.  The sun streaming through the blinds was all God's idea.

Good night to all!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Beauty and the Beast

Come out to my deck and join me this morning.  The weather is perfect with the morning sun filtering through the trees, a few leaves flutter to the ground.  The squirrels are scampering from one branch to another overhead.  It is the perfect time of year because the pool is still open.  The sparkling water just adds to the view.

Is there a better way to start the day?  I don't think so!
I'm not quite sure where my thoughts will take me this morning.  I have several different topics running through this scattered brain.  Let's just see where it leads.

I have had a good week, physically speaking.  This week's treatment has not made me sick or tired. The blood work results made me exuberant even!  My prayer time has been sweet and my study time has been fruitful.  Satan is not happy with any of this!  He is trying to creep into my thoughts with self-doubt, reminding me of past insecurities.

Satan has been reminding me of the things I have lost during this battle with cancer.  He wants me to be consumed with self-pity, because when you are consumed with "self" your focus is not on God.

He reminds me that I had to give up my career.  A career that I loved, and quite frankly, was rather good at.  Along with that career I lost my financial worth.

When I lost my health I lost my outward appearance.  I ran about three miles a day and was conscience of every bite I put in my mouth.  I was in good physical shape and had amassed a pretty extensive wardrobe.  I liked going places, mainly for the opportunity to dress up!  Because of cancer - surgery, chemo, radiation and other medicines - I packed on 90 pounds, lost my hair twice, sporadically lose control over bodily functions and NOW I HAVE ACNE!  The thought of going somewhere just for the chance to dress up is far from my "fun thing to do" list.

Now don't get in your car and come join my pity party!  It's over!  God knows that we have these troubles from time to time.  So He gives us the ammo to fight back when Satan starts flinging stones at us.

God tells me my face is radiant! (Psalm 34:4)

God tells me the beauty that He sees, the beauty that is important to Him. (1 Peter 3:3-4)

I hope the people that love me see me the way God sees me.  My hope is that the inner me, the important "stuff", shines through.  I hope that by giving my almost 4 year struggle with cancer over to God that my superficial self has given way to the spiritual self.  Instead of counting the miles I run, I want the steps I walk to count.  Instead of wearing the latest trend I want to be clothed in God's righteousness.

Isn't it great how our Almighty God can turn a pity party into a PRAISE PARTY!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Wow!  Where has the time gone?  It's already October?  This Alabama weather keeps me guessing about what month I'm living in.  I go for days not caring what day it is and then *poof*, it is a week later than I thought.

I've been enjoying sitting on my deck enjoying the fall-ish weather for days.  I planned to enjoy it again this morning during my TAWG (Time Alone With God).  I gathered my bible (both printed and electronic), my prayer journal and a cup of coffee.  I headed out and settled in my chair.  It didn't take but a minute or two to realize my t-shirt and shorts were not the appropriate attire this morning.  I headed back in for long pants and returned to my spot.  I did manage to make it half way through my cup of coffee before I realized more fabric was needed.  I finally settled in after wrapping up in an afghan (one handmade by me, I might add).

I perused some favorite scripture.  I always head to the Psalms first.  I remind myself that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made", that God "knit me together", that He "knows my thoughts from afar", He "hems me in from front and behind".  These have all been a comfort to me while battling cancer.  Instead of becoming stale scripture over these 3 3/4 years, they have become more like a friend.  Something that I look forward to each day.

Just sharing this pic because M&Ms make me happy!
I had some big praises to sing to my God this morning.  I praised Him all day yesterday, but I made it official this morning.  I'm not sure if that makes sense.  My heart remains thankful for what God is doing in my life, in the lives of my family and friends.  But yesterday He showed up and showed out BIG!

Praise #1:  Got a call from Allie that she had been offered the job she wanted!

Praise #2:  Got a great report from my blood work!  My tumor marker dropped for the third week in a row.  That number has been cut in half since I started this drug combo on July 9.

Praise #3:  I had a conversation with Andrew about how God works in our lives even when we don't understand it.  To be able to talk about God with your grown children is a great blessing.

Praise #4:  I finally got to meet my 2-week old great-nephew, Ezra James.  Icing on the cake!

After about an hour, with my hands cold and my nose running, it was time to come inside.


How many of you remember committing to memorize some scripture?  Today is your reminder!!!
I suggested Psalm 34:1-3, but if you picked something else that is fine, too.


I've been playing around with some crafts....I hope to start showing some of them to you tomorrow.

I would love to hear from you!!  What book are you currently reading?