Friday, October 5, 2012

Beauty and the Beast

Come out to my deck and join me this morning.  The weather is perfect with the morning sun filtering through the trees, a few leaves flutter to the ground.  The squirrels are scampering from one branch to another overhead.  It is the perfect time of year because the pool is still open.  The sparkling water just adds to the view.

Is there a better way to start the day?  I don't think so!
I'm not quite sure where my thoughts will take me this morning.  I have several different topics running through this scattered brain.  Let's just see where it leads.

I have had a good week, physically speaking.  This week's treatment has not made me sick or tired. The blood work results made me exuberant even!  My prayer time has been sweet and my study time has been fruitful.  Satan is not happy with any of this!  He is trying to creep into my thoughts with self-doubt, reminding me of past insecurities.

Satan has been reminding me of the things I have lost during this battle with cancer.  He wants me to be consumed with self-pity, because when you are consumed with "self" your focus is not on God.

He reminds me that I had to give up my career.  A career that I loved, and quite frankly, was rather good at.  Along with that career I lost my financial worth.

When I lost my health I lost my outward appearance.  I ran about three miles a day and was conscience of every bite I put in my mouth.  I was in good physical shape and had amassed a pretty extensive wardrobe.  I liked going places, mainly for the opportunity to dress up!  Because of cancer - surgery, chemo, radiation and other medicines - I packed on 90 pounds, lost my hair twice, sporadically lose control over bodily functions and NOW I HAVE ACNE!  The thought of going somewhere just for the chance to dress up is far from my "fun thing to do" list.

Now don't get in your car and come join my pity party!  It's over!  God knows that we have these troubles from time to time.  So He gives us the ammo to fight back when Satan starts flinging stones at us.

God tells me my face is radiant! (Psalm 34:4)

God tells me the beauty that He sees, the beauty that is important to Him. (1 Peter 3:3-4)

I hope the people that love me see me the way God sees me.  My hope is that the inner me, the important "stuff", shines through.  I hope that by giving my almost 4 year struggle with cancer over to God that my superficial self has given way to the spiritual self.  Instead of counting the miles I run, I want the steps I walk to count.  Instead of wearing the latest trend I want to be clothed in God's righteousness.

Isn't it great how our Almighty God can turn a pity party into a PRAISE PARTY!!


  1. You are beautiful, ma'am, inside and out! You have some fabulous eyelashes, and you're still dressing cute from everything I've seen. And I think your soul may be even more beautiful now. :)

    1. Amy, You don't know me, but I received your link from a friend. My husband has stage 4, terminal lung cancer, he has been treating one year now. No surgery, no radiation, just chemo. They are trying to give him 3 years, but our God will decide his time here on earth. Your blog really spoke to me, just know that I've added you to my prayer list. We serve an amazing God.