Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Ending, Beginning or Middle?

Is it the beginning of an end or the end of a beginning or maybe the middle of neither.

I have been literally fighting for my life for almost four and one half years.  My doc has thrown every drug at me that has a chance of slowing this speeding train called cancer.  Some have worked, some have not.   Once a treatment stops working or is found to not work at all it is marked off the list.  I'm at the bottom of my list.

Cancer and the attempt to demolish it has taken a toll on my physical being.  I don't recognize myself and some of the side effects I have endured have made me think my body has been taken over by aliens.  I am thankful that God gave me a sense of humor to help me get through some of these very odd occurrences.

While my physical being is becoming a stranger to me, I find myself spending more time in my soul.

I have been promising (or threatening) to share the writings from my personal devotion time.  God spoke volumes to me through Psalm 116 for several days in early March.  Since that time I have returned to these verses time and again.  In sharing this with you, I hope it will encourage and bless you.  I will break it down into separate days.  So, today is installment one.  Scripture is in bold, my thoughts in italics.

March 6, 2013
Psalm 116: 1-7

1. I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. 2. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.  I cried out to God during my cancer diagnosis and again even louder and more desperate when I was diagnosed as terminal.

3.  The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by my trouble and sorrow.  4.. Then I called on the name of the Lord; "O Lord, save me!"  When I sought out His face and  cried out to Him, He heard me.  The Almighty God of the Universe heard me...a sinner, someone with no power, fame or great talent...He heard me.  

5. The Lord is gracious and righteous, our God is full of compassion.  6.  The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, He saved me.  God is ALL gracious, ALL righteous and ALL compassion, only God can be ALL of those ALL the time.  In my time of need he is there to scoop me up, dust me off and stand me upright again.

7.  Be at rest, once more, O my soul for the Lord has been good to you.  Even though I know God is with me, sometimes my human nature rears its ugly head and I feel that I am falling back into desperation.  Daily I need to recall vs 7.

Be at rest, once more, O my soul for the Lord has been good to you.

Today, I pray that you know the gracious, righteous, compassionate King of Kings.



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