This is one of those days that I hesitate to blog. The treatment didn't make me terribly sick this time. Just tired and when I start getting hungry I have to eat immediately! Besides that everything has been pretty good. I got my tumor marker number today (the number that indicates if the cancer is growing). It jumped up a whopping 4.3, the largest jump I've had. Needless to say, this is not great news. I was still in the bed when I got the news. I knew I had two choices. I could either pull up the cover and stay in bed or get up and do something. I could stay in bed awhile and probably no one would blame me or think less of me for it. I could just lay there and quit. Today I decided to not quit. I can't make any promises for tomorrow, but for today I'm not quitting.
I got up, got dressed and started cooking soup. The pungent smells of the different vegetables and spices were almost intoxicating. I enjoyed the different colors, different smells and the anticipation of how it would all join together and make a yummy meal. All this is such a glorious gift from God. These vegetables and spices that God made come to be. The enjoyment I received from them was a gift just as well. To enjoy the gifts He provides is such a glorious thing.
I have my good days and my bad days...actually I think most days are filled with good times and bad times. The bad moments I try to humble myself and ask "God, what are you trying to show me here". In the good moments, I say "Thank you God, for showing me this!"
So today with this disappointing news, what is it God, that you are wanting me to learn? Maybe to remember that you are in control? Perhaps to remember time is a vapor to us all? Am I to remember that you promised to never leave me?
And to remember that the gift I have been given is today. I have this day to trade some laughs with friends and family, to smell the soup as it cooks, to feel the fresh cool air on my face as Gracie and I take a walk. Yes, indeed, I believe this is a good day.
Enjoy your weekend and the blessings that God has in store for you!