OK, so maybe I'm not a very good blogger. All day long I think of things I want to post, then time slips by and it's another day. I will try to do better, but I'm not making any promises!
I'm in New Orleans on a business trip. Business trips with this company are not your average business trips...they are more like reunions with old friends. I think there are over 150 folks at this meeting. Most of us greet each other with a hug and a "how are the kids?" I enjoy seeing these people. Some of them I have known for over 11 years.
Most know about my cancer diagnosis so there are questions about how things are going. I have always been open about my illness. I never thought about keeping it a secret. I know some people do keep their illness private and that is their decision. But I have never been good at hiding my feelings. I knew I would not be able to go about my daily life acting like nothing was out of the norm. I also decided early on that no matter what happens to me I want my life to be a testimony of God's love, strength and grace. How could those things be revealed if no one knew what I was going through? I wanted my family to be wrapped in prayers - how would people know to pray for them?
As humans we need each other. As Christians we need other Christians. To say we "need" someone shows a sign of weakness. That is not a bad thing! Only in our weakness is God's strength revealed. People tell me I'm handling this well, that I am so strong, etc. It is not my strength they see. It is God's strength in me. It is only through His love, His strength and His grace that I can wake up each morning and face the day. I am only able to do this because I have said, "GOD, I cannot do this without you!"
In my first battle the treatments were so rough that some nights I would say, "OK God, if you want me to make it through tonight I will know it if I wake up in the morning." That is not a testament to my faith or my "religiosity", it is knowing that each breath I take is ordained by God. I do not want to die and leave my family here, but even more strongly than that I do not want to take one breath on this earth that is outside the will of God.
When I was much younger I thought being a Christian would be boring. I wasn't really wild about the idea of having to give up all the "fun" things I was doing to be a Christian. Now that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, I realize how very wrong I was! If you want to feel the excitement of really living, just hand the reigns of your life over to God! Walk each day with Him completely opened to His will for your life! No rollercoaster or bungee jump could be more exciting than letting Him direct your step.
I'm turning in for the night. May the peace of God be with you through the night and may the excitement of His will be your driving force tomorrow.